People always say “I couldn’t do it”

Neither can I. The impossibility of this situation breaks my heart every day.
I crave normality. A kiss goodnight. His arms holding me close. The sound of his heart beating as I fall asleep. I crave him in the simplest of ways.
I count the days, the hours, until we are together. Every moment we move closer; every moment the waiting gets harder.
But, he is worth the pain. He is worth the daily battle against my own will. He is worth the wait.

I can’t do it, but for him I do.

“I think…” she said, to afraid of her own words to lift her voice above a croaked whisper “this world might just be big enough to break me”

“And I might be tired enough to let it…”



Tears stream down my cheek. Not because I’m sad. Because waiting has become unbearable.

I crave you in the smallest ways. To take your face in my hands. To feel your lips with mine. To hear your breathing even out as you fall asleep. To know your morning routine and to hear you call my name across a room.

I don’t need grand romance or a life of adventure, though I know you’ll give me both of those. I just need your hand in mine when it’s hard. I need to feel it firm and hard. To know that you’re real. That will be enough.

Because as unbearable as it becomes, waiting for you is the best thing I’ve ever done.

And perhaps, I never needed to recover after all.

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